frequently asked
QUESTIONS

Attending a support group is free. There may be a minimal cost for materials if you would like your own copy. Materials can also be used electronically or downloaded from the Finding Hope website for free.

Participants must be 18 years old, female, and must have experienced sexual abuse as a child or adolescent (at or before the age of 18).

Yes. If the Presenter is an adult woman who experienced sexual abuse at or before the age of 18. The support group is a safe place to progress on your healing journey. We ask that no selling of any kind take place at Finding Hope Support Group meetings, including selling Younique Products.

Meetings are typically 60–90 minutes long. There will be two Group Leaders who will read from a script while participants follow along. During the meeting, you will be introduced to the purpose statement and meeting guidelines of the group, participate in a check-in, learn about a healing strategy, have the opportunity to share, and finish with a grounding exercise.

No. Just attend as often as you can. However, regular weekly attendance contributes to better healing outcomes.

One of the meeting guidelines states that “we don’t give advice, only support.” The difference in giving support versus advice is perspective. When we give advice, we make suggestions on how someone should act. We give our perspective on their experience. When we offer emotional support, we try to understand someone’s experience from their perspective, without trying to influence it. We show support by expressing appreciation for sharing, offering encouragement, and simply listening. We don’t give advice.

Each person who attends the group should have their own copy of the script. The script can be downloaded from the Finding Hope website or copies can be purchased at cost plus shipping from our store. You will also find instructions on how to purchase the Reclaim Hope book and workbook.

You can find the strategy videos used during support group meetings under the “Group Materials” tab on the Finding Hope website.

A headline could be something like, “I was abused by my uncle from the age of 7–14.” Details include specifics about the abuse such as what happened, when, and how often. Details can be triggering while headlines are informative.

Each group determines the best way for members to communicate. Some groups create Facebook pages, some groups have a text list, etc. Check with your group leader to make sure that you are part of the communication process.

Safety is the primary focus of Finding Hope Support Groups. We understand the importance of feeling safe in moving forward on your healing journey. We keep the meetings safe by following a meeting script and upholding the meeting guidelines. At each meeting, there will be two group leaders who help maintain structure and monitor the group for safety concerns.

One of our meeting guidelines focuses on confidentiality. It states, “We maintain confidentiality by using only our first names and not divulging what happens during our meetings, even to our families or significant others.”

Information about the 5 Strategies to Reclaim Hope can be found under the “Group Materials” tab on the Finding Hope website.

Go to the “Find a Group” tab on the Finding Hope website.

Click on our “Find a Group” link. On this page, you will find all of our groups listed. Each group will have contact information. Contact the group leader to find out if their group is available online.

We have developed guidelines for group leaders and participants to help them have a safe meeting in an online setting which includes not sharing the meeting link in a public space, but sending it in a private email.

Attending a support group is free. There may be a minimal cost for materials if you would like your own copy. Materials can also be used electronically or downloaded from the Finding Hope website for free.

Yes, as long as the group can be a safe place for both participants and each participant can focus on their own healing journey.

Yes. If the Presenter is an adult woman who experienced sexual abuse at or before the age of 18. The support group is a safe place to progress on your healing journey. We ask that no selling of any kind take place at Finding Hope Support Group meetings, including selling Younique Products.

We have found that word of mouth is a good way to promote your group. On our "Group Materials" page, you will find a flyer about support groups that you can download and post in therapists’ offices, doctors’ offices, etc. Depending on how open you are about being a survivor, you can also post on social media. Do what you feel comfortable with to spread the word about your group.

Safety should be the first consideration when finding a location. Look for someplace that offers a private room with minimal distractions. We have had success with public locations like libraries, office spaces, hospitals, or clinic conference rooms. Public locations are neutral and accessible.

A successful group follows the script and the meeting guidelines to keep everyone safe. They share responsibility among all members of the group with group leader rotation and sharing tasks. A successful group discusses group issues openly and respectfully and retains newcomers by creating an inviting and safe group culture.

Deviating from the script includes things like asking questions or giving advice during another group member’s check-in or share, interrupting when another group member is speaking, skipping check-in, or allowing sharing to turn into a discussion. Deviating could also include not reviewing the Meeting Guidelines each week or not participating in a Workbook Activity. Skipping or altering any portion of the script is a deviation and puts the group’s safety at risk.

To find answers for handling difficult situations that may arise in the support group or with a participant, go to the “Manage Group Safety” tab on the Finding Hope website.

Sometimes group members may want feedback or help in dealing with a particular issue they are struggling with and ask for a response during their share. Group Leader #1 can respond by saying, “That is a really great question! I would love to talk to you more about that after the meeting closes.” It is very important to maintain the Meeting Guidelines during the meeting as they provide the boundaries to keep the meeting safe.

All videos for support groups can be found on the “Group Materials” tab of the Finding Hope website.

The answers for check-in should be short—one or two words. The triumph moment should be one sentence. The entire check-in should take no more than 1–2 minutes per person. Sharing should last 3–5 minutes per person depending on how many people are in the group. During sharing, a participant should focus on headlines and not details when talking about their abuse in order to keep from triggering other participants. A headline could be something like, “I was abused by my uncle from the age of 7–14.” Details include specifics about the abuse such as what happened, when, and how often. Using “I” statements will also ensure that you are sharing from your own personal experience. It’s important for participants to learn to listen during sharing and not offer advice.

Each group should make decisions regarding the group together. Bring the question to the group, discuss it, and then decide as a group how to move forward. These decisions could be centered around meeting times, locations, communication, snacks, etc. The structure and materials of the meeting do not change.

Leading the support group provides an opportunity for deeper learning and service, and each participant should be given an opportunity to lead when they are ready. Each group can decide how often the Group Leader roles should rotate.

For many survivors, attending a support group is a vulnerable experience. Newcomers may feel anxiety about not knowing how the group will function or how they will be asked to participate. Greet new members and introduce them to the structure and materials of the meeting so they know what to expect. Newcomers are more likely to return when they feel validated, supported, and can depend on the safety and predictability of the meeting.

No, you do not need to have attended The Haven Retreat in order to attend a support group.

The Psychology Today website has a database where you can search by therapist location, specialty, and gender. You can also find additional information such as if a therapist is EMDR-certified or accepts your insurance. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Finding a 2nd group leader is an important step in the process of getting a group up and running. Begin by looking at your own circle of friends and acquaintances. Let people close to you know what you are wanting to do, and they may be able to help you find another survivor who would be interested. Contact a local therapist group. They may have a client who is far enough along in her healing journey that being a group leader would be a great next step. If you are comfortable sharing on your social channels that you are a survivor, you can let people know that you are looking for another survivor to be a group leader in a support group. Check with Facebook Groups or Community Boards in your area. If you are comfortable sharing on these forums, you may be able to find another group leader by posting there.

Finding Hope Support Group meetings should last 45 minutes to 1 hour. The length of time can vary depending on how many people are in attendance and how many people participate in sharing. The meeting should not go longer than an hour. If your meeting is regularly going longer than an hour, make sure you are following the script and the meeting guidelines. If you have more than 12 people attending, you may want to consider splitting the group into 2 separate groups with their own meeting day and times.

We recommend meeting once a week. The education that is shared in each meeting was developed based on weekly meetings. However, you can decide with your group what works best.